The Condition
by tony-starks-nipples
Summary: Steve has to make a deal with Loki after Tony accidentally turns himself into a baby. Stony.


There was a high pitched screaming coming from Tony's workshop. It had been going on for a few minutes already, and it didn't seem like it was going to be stopping any time soon. There was a building wide power surge just before the screaming started. Steve, finally deducing that there was something very _very _wrong, decided to go down to the workshop. He was nervous and uncomfortable; he wasn't allowed the in the workshop and he never felt a need to press the matter. However, JARVIS granted him access to the room without a hassle, which startled him.

He moved toward the sound of the screaming only to see, "Oh... shit." The word sounded foreign in his mouth, but he couldn't seem to care as he picked up the screaming, squirming baby. "Tony...?" The baby stopped moving for a few seconds and stared at Steve, as if recognizing the name. "Oh my gosh." The baby started screaming again and tried to get out of Steve's grip, but Steve held on tight. "JARVIS!"

"Yes, Captain Rogers."

"Please get help." The baby had started biting Steve. It wasn't painful, so much as annoying. "Immediately."

"I already have."

"Thank you."

~o~

Eventually the baby calmed down. Well... fell asleep. Steve refused to put him down. He had never been around babies. He didn't have younger siblings, and he didn't socialize much for fear of being mocked because of his size. Babies had never been a part of his life. "Am I holding him right?" Steve asked JARVIS. He was still waiting for help to show up.

"Yes."

That came as an immense relief. He wasn't hurting the baby. "How old is he exactly?"

"I'm not sure _exactly_, but judging by his size, my best guess is between one and a half and two years old."

Director Fury burst through the doors. "This better be good, Stark. I'm working and I get an urgent message from your robo- what is that?" Fury stopped his rant mid word when he saw the sleeping baby in Steve's arms.

"It's not a what. It's a who... and I think it's Tony."

"You _think_?"

"I was sitting up here reading. And then there was a power surge through the whole building, which is kind of a big deal considering all of the tech Stark has to keep that from happening. Then there was this incessant screaming coming from his workshop. I went down and the baby was there and adult-sized Tony was no where to be found."

"So _you_ sent out the message?"

"Yes."

Fury worked to keep himself calm. "Where is everyone else?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen anyone all day. I didn't even know Tony was here." It wasn't rare to not see the other Avengers around the tower. They weren't particularly fond of each other, so being forced to live together was an accident _begging_ to happen. They dealt with it by spending as little time together as possible, which was surprisingly easy, given the vastness of the tower. However, since no one was responding to the red alert that was going through the entirety of JARVIS's reach, the rest of the team wasn't even close.

Fury groaned and put a hand to his ear. "This is Director Fury. Does anyone copy?" There was a pause as Steve stared at Fury. He couldn't comprehend how Fury could connect with people from such distances without a phone. Apparently someone answered him, because he continued, "Good. It's time. We need Agent Coulson."

"Agent _Coulson_?" Steve asked. His raised voice woke the sleeping baby he had all but forgotten in his arms. The infant started wailing again. The soldier tried bouncing Tony-baby up and down to calm him. It seemed to work, because the crying was reduced to sniffling.

"Yes, Captain Rogers. Phil Coulson was never dead. He was severely injured, and it seemed hopeless in the beginning. We declared him dead before being entirely sure. When it became apparent that he was going to live, we kept it under wraps until precisely the right time."

"And that time is _now?_"

"No. We would have preferred telling everyone at once, in a calmer setting. But no one knows the Avengers like he does, and he's our best hope to returning Stark to his normal, obnoxious self."

~o~

One by one the other Avengers returned to the tower. There were SHEILD agents at every entrance who escorted each member of the team into the large conference hall. Baby Tony had taken a liking to Steve, so the captain sat at the table, clutching the baby who was currently pulling his hair. All eyes were on him.

Clint couldn't take it anymore, "Who's the kid."

"We believe it's Tony," Steve explained sheepishly. The baby stopped and looked around the room. The name was defiantly a trigger.

"You _believe_. Well... has anyone checked?" Clint asked.

"Checked what?"

"DNA?"

"No. We're more than sure that the baby is Stark," Fury interrupted.

Natasha walked up to Steve. "Give me the baby." When Steve didn't hand Tony over, Natasha grabbed him. Steve's reflexes were fast, but Natasha's were faster. She clutched the baby awkwardly.

"I don't think you're doing that right," Steve interjected.

"I don't care." She began lifting up his shirt. "Well... I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but this baby is definitely Stark."

"You're sure?" Clint asked, ever skeptical.

"Yup. There's the scar." She held up the baby's shirt to show the giant scar in the middle of his chest. Tony's tiny arms worked to poke at the hunk of scar tissue. "I guess it's a good thing he had the arc reactor removed. I'd hate to know what would have happened if an _infant_ had a cluster of shrapnel working it's way into his heart."

"He's not an infant _per se_," Steve noted. Natasha gave him a look and shoved Tony back into Steve's arms.

Thor walked into the room then. "Why have I been summoned?" he bellowed. "I do not wish to be in this room." Finally, he spotted Tony. "And who are you little man?" He walked toward Steve. He gestured as if to ask _may I hold the baby_? Steve looked around to see wary eyes. Could the big guy be trusted with a baby? But when Steve looked at Tony, there was a look of fascination in his eyes. When Thor got close enough, Tony reached out his arms and made little grabby motions with his hands. Steve reluctantly handed Tony to Thor.

"Hello there little man," Thor said, bouncing the baby. Tony giggled in utter delight. "Who does this child belong to?" Thor asked gleefully. He hugged the baby to his chest.

"It's Tony," Natasha said, seemingly bored with the situation already. "Not his kid... it's actually him."

Tony reached up and pulled a lock of Thor's extensive hair. Hair pulling seemed to be his favorite game. "Metal man?" Thor asked in shock, looking down at the baby. Tony was beaming up at him, and Thor returned the smile. "Well hello there, mini metal man."

"You seem surprisingly okay with this," Steve noted.

"This form of trickery is common on Asgard. When does the spell wear off?"

"I've been working on that, and I have no clue what he was even doing down there," Bruce, the last Avenger, spoke as he entered the room. Everyone gasped. By his side, Phil Coulson stood, alive as ever.

"Son of Coul! You live!" Thor exclaimed. His voice startled Tony, who started to wail. Steve walked up and grabbed Tony from Thor's arms.

"Yes. I do." Coulson smiled. "Bruce and I have been down in Tony's workshop for hours trying to figure out what went wrong in Stark's calculations. Well, Bruce has. I've been listening."

"And we've found nothing. It looks like everything was going according to plan. We're still not sure _what_ exactly he was doing, but there doesn't seem to be any miscalculations that could result in..." Bruce gestured to the baby.

Steve put Tony down on the table. The baby smiled and started crawling to each of the Avengers. None of them, aside from Thor, knew much about babies, and they all cringed when he came near. Everyone just watched. They had no ideas and it was interesting to watch their partner like this.

Clint crouched down so that he was eye level with Tony. The baby was smiling when he reached out and put his tiny hand on Clint's nose. "Hi there, Tony." The baby nodded. After making the rounds, he crawled back to Steve.

"Teve! Up."

Seven pairs of wide eyes stared at the baby. "Okay, that's just weird," Natasha observed.

Steve hesitantly reached down and picked up Tony. "TEVE!" he tried to hug Steve, but his arm span didn't even reach across Steve's shoulders.

"Hi there, Tony," Steve greeted hesitantly, patting the child on his head.

Tony leaned back and pointed to himself. "Ony." Everyone was getting increasingly uncomfortable. They were all waiting for Stark to make some wise ass comment, but then realized that Stark was a baby and therefore unable to. There was a prolonged silence as everyone looked at each other. Then kept looking at the baby. Tony was looking around the room, taking in the nervous looks on everyones face. "My faul?" he asked.

"No. This isn't your fault," Steve assured.

"Yes it is!" Natasha proclaimed. "He was the one who was fucking around in his lab and got himself turned into a fucking baby. Now we have to figure out what went wrong, which we can't because we have no clue what he was even doing, or we end up having to re-raise Tony Stark. It is _all_ his fault."

"My faul!" Tony started crying.

"Agent Romanoff. I would very much appreciate if you don't do that again," Fury reprimanded. "Now, let's weigh our options. What are we going to do here?"

Everyone turned to Bruce. "I can keep working down in the lab trying to decode what he was doing and create some form of reverse, but I can't promise anything. I don't think we can put all of our eggs in that basket."

No one could believe that Bruce would be unable to do some form of scientific work, but they appreciated his honesty. "Does anyone else have any other ideas?" Fury asked. "Anything."

"I do," spoke Thor. "But I doubt anyone in this room is going to like it."

"I'm sure we'd all be fascinated to hear about it," Fury spat.

"My bother. The God of Mischief. He's pulled this prank numerous times. I'm sure he'd know how to reverse it."

Steve put Tony on the table and stood. "How can we trust your brother after what happened? And what do we do? Bring him back to earth? So he can escape again, no doubt. Loki cannot be trusted."

"Do you have any other ideas?" Fury asked. Steve admitted he didn't. "I'm not keen on this plan either, but it seems like it is the only alternative."

"There are always other alternatives," Steve insisted.

"Then come up with one," Clint demanded.

"Stark! They say he was a genius from day one. Maybe if he could see what he was working on, he'd have some idea on how to fix it." Steve knew it was a long shot, but he also knew that no good would ever come from bargaining with a villain.

"Captain Rogers, you brilliant plan is currently chewing on his own foot." True enough, Tony had three of his toes in his mouth.

"So... Loki?" Steve asked, angry.

"Loti?" Tony took his foot out of his mouth.

"Unfortunately yes. Loki," Fury answered. "Thor, how soon can you get him here?"

"I will need three days."

"Steve."

"Yes sir?"

"You're in charge of Stark."

"But I don't know anything about babies!" Steve responded, panicked. "What if I do something wrong!"

"Agents Barton and Romanoff?"

"Yes...?" the answered warily.

"You're helping him."

Natasha whispered every Russian cure she could manage before Clint elbowed her in the side.

~o~

Strange as it was, taking care of baby Tony was easier than taking care of regular Tony. Baby Tony could complain, of course, but he couldn't walk away, and in the end, he had to do what he was told. That being said, just because it was _easier_, it wasn't _easy_.

Combined, the three had about eight hours of baby experience in their lives. During the first twelve hours, Romanoff tried to run away twice, Clint three times, and Steve would just clutch Tony and hope, for the love of _God_, they return. They did. Eventually they all became attached to the baby. "Nasha" "Lint" and "Teve" cared for "Ony" very much.

"Hey guys! Look what I did!" Clint exclaimed. He had taken Tony for a walk around the tower, supposedly to help him fall asleep for his nap. But alas, Tony was wide awake and on his face there was...

"What did you do?" Romanoff shouted.

"Big Ony!" Tony poked his face proudly. On it was Stark's signature beard.

"Please tell me that's not permanent marker," Steve threatened.

"Well then I won't say anything." Clint grinned. "Looks more like himself now, doesn't he."

"BIG ONY!" The baby squealed. No one was sure if Tony knew what was going on. If he had any idea that he was _not_ supposed to be a giggling, clapping baby with a marker beard. It didn't seem it.

Steve couldn't keep the smile from his face. He couldn't speak for his partners, but for a fleeting second, he thought that it wouldn't be that bad if Thor's plan fell through.

"Okay, it's cute. But now he's all riled up. We'll never get him down for a nap now."

"Who cares? He's only going to be a baby for another thirty six hours. It's not like lack of a nap is really going to fuck him up that badly," Clint pointed out. "So... while we have him... let's raise a little hell."

"Hell?" the baby questioned.

"Nice, birdbrain," Steve quipped, taking the baby from Clint's arms. The spies looked at Steve. That was not something that would normally come out of his mouth.

"Birr bain!" Birr bain! Lint a birr bain!" Tony chanted, gleefully. "'Teve?"

"Yeah?" he asked, still stunned at his early name-calling.

"Wus birr bain?"

Steve began a walk about of the tower in a second attempt at putting the kid to sleep. Even though he was only going to be a baby for a bit more, neither he, nor his helpers, wanted to wake up at 3am to play with him. On top of that, none of them wanted to deal with a grumpy, no-nap Tony that would come around in a few hours. "It's a very not nice term for someone who is not smart."

"I smart."

"Yes," Steve nodded. "You're very smart." He smirked. "Very, very smart."

"Lint no smart?"

"Clint is smart. But he's not as smart as you are."

"I smart." Tony's eyes were starting to close.

"Very, very smart."

"I sma-" he fell asleep mid-sentence. Steve laid the baby in his crib. They had run out and bought it. With Tony's money of course. As a kick in the shin for turning himself into a baby and inconveniencing the entire team, they found the most expensive crib they could find. There was a lot of weird shit in New York City, include a twenty thousand dollar baby crib that did nothing.

As he looked down at the sleeping baby, he smiled. The beard was way too cute.

~o~

"They're here," Romanoff announced, walking into the makeshift nursery. Steve awoke with a start. He had fallen asleep in the rocking chair next to the crib. The rocking chair that was another forty grand on top of the twenty for the crib.

"Who?"

"Thor and Loki."

"They're early."

"You're complaining? Wake the kid and let's get this over with."

Steve looked into the crib. Tony was still asleep. "I don't want to. He's so peaceful."

"I don't care." Natasha reached for the baby. Steve held up his hand as if to say "I've got it" and picked up the baby. Natasha didn't complain. Everyone knew that Steve was Tony's favorite. "Let's go." She smiled.

Even though Tony turning himself into a baby was a terrible inconvenience, she kind of enjoyed it. She loved her life and her way of work, and she wouldn't want any other kind of life, but she did kind of like the idea of a baby and a family. In theory. She had never really had a family. But now she had it and she could move on with her life. However, as they walked toward the beginning of the end of this chapter in their lives, she felt a little sad.

"Can I hold him for a bit?" she asked. Steve was shocked; Natasha never wanted to hold Tony. However, he handed him over happily. Unlike the first day, Natasha held him with care. "C'mon Stark. Let's go make you a big boy again."

~o~

"Steven, Anthony," Loki greeted, ignoring Natasha completely. "So glad to see you." Tony was starting to wake up. He yawned and stretched out his arms and legs.

"Loti?" he muttered, sleepily.

"Yes Tony, that's... Loki." Steve spat the name.

A sick grin spread across Loki's face. Everyone shied away, except for Thor.

"Brother. Please help us."

"Unchain me," Loki demanded. No one made a move. "If you want my help, UNCHAIN ME!" Coulson grabbed the keys and unlocked the manacles that were around Loki's wrists and ankles. "Didn't I kill you?" Loki asked Coulson.

"Not quite."

Once Loki was completely free, he made as if to run away. Everyone in the room jumped as if to stop him. He grinned again. "You mortals. So easily fooled."

"Brother, please."

"Fine. Everyone may remain in the room, but I am going to speak only to Steven. If any of you speak a single word..." he trailed off. The Avengers, along with Fury and Coulson, could imagine what Loki could do to them. "Agent Romanoff, can you please give Steven the child."

Without a word, Tony was handed from Natasha to Steve. "'Teve?" Tony asked. He could tell that something was wrong.

"Shh, Tony. It's going to be fine."

"Yes, Steven. Tell the child everything will be fine. He has grown so fond of you, he won't question you. But you don't know that it will be fine, do you? Oh Steven, if I didn't know better, I would think that you have grown fond of him as well. But that couldn't despise Anthony. You resent him. He is nothing like his father. That disappoints you. You were hoping to find an immediate friend in this new world. Your only connection to your past is the child of a man you foolishly called a friend. But he's nothing like his father, is he? Unlike Howard, Anthony is not enamored with you. Howard regarded you as his greatest project. Anthony sees you as nothing but a flawed experiment. That bothers you, deeply, because you know it's true.

"Yet, here you are, willing to wade into a water you couldn't possibly know the depths of to get that person back. That person who is the phantom hope of regaining something from your past. Are you not happier with him like this? Are you not _all_ happier?" he asked, regarding the room.

"Tony isn't my favorite person in the world, but I don't want to see him like this." Tony was chewing on his foot again, something he had done numerous times over the past two days. "He is my teammate and I respect him."

"Is that it? You don't want to see your _teammate_," Loki spat the word, "in this condition? Are you sure that nothing else lies under all of that hatred? Something hidden from even yourself?"

Steve's body tensed, his grip on Tony tightening. "I... Don't know what you mean."

This was the most sinister of Loki's smiles. "I see it now. You love Anthony, but you bury it under your hatred. It makes perfect sense. I do not know how I didn't see it before. You refuse to acknowledge that you love another man. You never have. You bury it, deep inside of you, because it is wrong. Horrible. Repulsive. You disgust yourself. You pretend to hate Anthony because it is easier than coming to terms with the fact that they person you truly hate is yourself. This is delicious."

Tony had stopped trying to bite his foot. If the team didn't know any better, they would have thought the baby understood. "Loti?" the baby asked, looking up at Steve. While Steve felt the movement, his eyes remained locked on Loki. The God slowly walked toward the pair.

"Yes. I am Loki." He grabbed Tony from Steve's arms.

"NO!" Steve shouted. "Give him back." Tony began to wail and thrash his way out of Loki's grip.

Fury opened his mouth to bark an order, whether at Loki or the team will never be clear, because Loki held up a finger. "Not a word, Nicholas." He brought the finger to his lips. "Shhh."

"Loki, please give me Tony. Whatever you want, I'll do it. Just... please don't hurt him."

"What makes you think that I would hurt him?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Steve answered sarcastically.

"I don't need to hear the laundry list of things you believe I have done wrong. Here, take him." Loki all but the threw the Tony at Steve. "I'll turn him back for you."

"You will."

"If..." Steve cringed. If? Loki smiled. "I will give you one week. One. Week. In that one week, you must tell Anthony how you feel about him, how you _truly_ feel about him. If, by the end of that one week you have not done so, he will die. He will know it was you who killed him and _you_ will not be able to die until you are old and frail. You cannot be killed in battle, you cannot kill yourself. Every waking moment of your life you will be reminded that you were the one who murdered the man that you loved."

"Why does it matter to you if I tell him I love him?" Steve looked at his teammates. "Not that I do, but..."

"Oh Steve, give it up. We all know," Clint chided.

Steve looked at Loki, afraid of what he was going to do to Clint. But Loki just smiled that evil smile of his. "Since when?" Steve asked.

"Honestly... when he said it. I knew there was something different there, but now it makes so much sense. So just do what he wants." Natasha shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't matter to us."

"So Steven. Do we have a deal?"

"Why does it matter to you if I do this?"

"Must you bore me with your questions?"

Steve looked down at the baby. "Teve?" The baby blinked up at him. Steve hung his head. He had to take this deal. Otherwise Tony would have to grow up all over again, and no one needed another pubescent Tony Stark. "We have a deal."

"Ah. Perfect. Put him on the floor." Steve obliged. "Grab that cloth over there. As much as we all _adore_ Anthony, I doubt anyone in this room would care to see him naked." Loki's tone was dry. Steve blushed a deep red as he covered the baby in the drop cloth that was lying in the corner of the room, left over from the repairs.

It was instantaneous. Tony was a full sized person again.

"What... the fuck just happened? Why am I on the floor? Why am I naked? Why are you all here? Am I still drunk?"

Steve knelt down to Tony's level. Tony adjusted himself under the cloth. "You aren't going to believe this but-"

"Where's Loki?" Natasha asked. Everyone looked around the room. While they were all staring at Stark, the God had disappeared.

"Mother fucker," Fury swore. "Everyone, this is a red alert. Find him at any cost." Steve jumped up. Tony stood up, slower, but he still got off the floor. He was clutching the drop cloth around himself. "Not you two."

"Director-" Steve began, but Fury caught him off guard.

"No. You two stay here. You have a lot to talk about." That shut Steve up.

"What the _fuck_ is going on? Why was Loki even here? WHY AM I NAKED?"

"Calm down, Stark. Come with me." Steve led Tony out of the room.

"Where are we going?" Tony asked.

"To get you dressed."

"I can do that on my own."

"No. I'm going with you."

Tony gave Steve a skeptical look, but decided not to question it. If he did what Steve wanted, maybe he'd get answers. What had Fury meant by _a lot to talk about_? Tony's head hurt, so rationally he figured he just had a massive hangover. But... this wasn't like any hangover he ever had. And he'd had his fair share.

"Why is there a crib in my room? Why is there a changing table and a rocking chair? Are you trying to tell me something? Oh my God," he did some mental math. He had broken up with Pepper one... two... three weeks ago. "Fuck."

"What?"

"Pepper's pregnant." In frustration and confusion, Tony let go of the drop cloth. Steve went all deer in the headlights and cleared his throat. Tony picked it up off the floor and wrapped it around himself again, unenthusiastically. "I am not supposed to be a dad."

In Steve's shock, he didn't hear the part about Pepper, only the part about Tony being a dad. "What?"

Wasn't Tony supposed to be the one asking the questions, not Steve. "The baby stuff. It's Pepper's way of telling me she's pregnant, right?"

"No."

"What is going on Rogers. If no one is pregnant and there are no little Tony's running around, then why is all this baby stuff here?"

"Get dressed and then we'll talk."

"Just tell me."

Steve sighed. "No. Because you're going to get surprised again and you're gonna drop that and then you're going to be naked again, and then you're going-"

"I get it, I'll put on clothes." Tony disappeared into his closet, returned in less than a minute wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"How'd you get dressed so fast?" Steve asked, amazed.

"These are my quick getaway clothes."

Steve crinkled his nose. He hated that Tony had a pair of "quick getaway" clothes. Hated the fact that he wasn't ashamed of them. He was about to say something, but decided against it. There was too much else to worry about.

"Sit down."

"I'd rather stand."

"Okay. Whatever. Loki was here because... you did something really weird and no one could figure out _how_ you did it, not even Bruce. It was a last resort type of thing." That was Tony's least pressing question, but it was a start. "You were naked because you... grew. Quickly. And the clothes you were wearing couldn't grow with you." Steve prompted. He was really hoping Tony could remember what had happened in the lab so he didn't have to tell Tony that he had turned himself into a baby.

"Can you just get to the point?"

"You turned yourself into a baby, Tony. You were a year and a half old for the past three days. You couldn't talk; you screamed when you wanted things. We took care of you, Nat, Clint, and I. We fed you and changed your diapers and made sure... you didn't hurt yourself."

"So what you're saying... is that I spent the past three days shitting myself and putting random things in my mouth." Tony stumbled backward and sat fell/sat onto the bed. Steve picked up the rocking chair and carried it to the bedside.

"You chewed on your foot a lot."

"WHAT?" Tony shouted.

"Yeah. So, now I have a question for you."

"Sure, go ahead."

"What were you working on in your lab that turned you into a baby?"

"A time machine." Tony answered distractedly. He was desperately trying to remember something, _anything_ from the past few days. He saw the look on Steve's face and was inclined to continue. "You couldn't actually interact with people in the past, but it could take you to any point you wanted. You couldn't go forward in time, only backwards. You would just see what was happening at any given time and place."

"Why?"

"I thought it might help you. Go back. See how everyone was doing, how they got where the are. Kind of move through history by being in it. I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Now... not so much."

Steve was awestruck. Tony was trying to build him a time machine so that he would have a better time adjusting. For some reason, it hit Steve right in the heart. He never really thought about Tony caring about him. "Why would you do that for me?"

Tony sighed. "As much as I resent my father, he was still my father. You were very important to him. And it seems that he was very important to you. So I wanted to... I don't know... make him proud? No, that's not it. I don't even know. It doesn't make any sense to me. I was just doing it for something to do, Steve. Create something that everyone wanted."

Steve couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Tony hadn't been building it for him. Tony was building it for Tony. Typical. "Well... thank you, I guess."

"Yeah. So why did Fury stick you with the job of telling me that I was useless shitting machine for half a week? That's not really "a lot to talk about". It was really just one thing."

Steve swallowed. Here it comes. "There's... there's something else. Loki... he didn't bring you back for free. He and I... we made a bargain. He would turn you back and in return I had to..." Steve trailed off. As much as he tried, he couldn't get the words to come out. _Just tell him_, he demanded. _You don't want him to die_. But then his brain responded _You have a week. You don't have to do it right now. He's taking in enough information as it is._ And then _the longer you wait the harder it will get_.

"Spit it out already," Tony snarked. "I want to take a nap." The words hung in the air. Tony rarely slept at night, let alone too a nap. "What's happening to me."

"You're probably just tired. You should get some sleep. Must have taken a lot out of you... being turned back into a person from a baby. Yeah... must have been rough." Steve stood up and bolted out of the room.

"Whatever," Tony muttered.

~o~

"How did Stark take the news?" Natasha asked. She had been waiting outside of Tony's bedroom.

"He was surprised, but all in all, I think he took it well. All things considering."

"What's he doing now?"

"He says he wants to take a nap. I don't believe him, but I don't much care. At least I was able to get out of there before..."

"Before what?" Natasha spat.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. It wasn't the right place. The right time. He just found out he turned himself into a baby, or as he called it "a useless shitting machine" and I couldn't tell him I love him. Not yet."

"You have a _week_." Natasha shoved him against the wall. "You are going back in there are you are going to tell him what you need to tell him. We are not having that kind of threat hanging over us."

Steve shuffled his way back to the door. He raised his hand to knock, but instead just rested his forehead on it. He took deep breaths. He knew he had to do this. He knew it was important. And he would probably feel better if it was out in the open, right? Not having to keep it all inside? Yeah, that made a lot of sense.

The door swung open and he almost fell on top of Tony.

"Good, you're here. I was just coming to look for you."

"Me, why?"

"I wasn't totally honest with you before. I wasn't building the time machine for something to do. I was building it for you. Because I can see that you're in pain and that hurts me so much. I can't handle seeing you in pain. And I couldn't figure out why before, but when I just woke up from this fucking baby nightmare I realized something. Some part of me remembered you when I was in there and that part of me is what drew me to you. It's why I wanted you to be the one to take care of me. It's because I love you Steve. And I don't even know-" Steve cut Tony off by kissing him. It was light and over practically before it started, but it spoke volumes.

When Steve pulled away, neither man knew what to do. They avoided looking at each other. Tony stared at the ceiling, his hands in his pockets. He rocked back on his heels, then forward to his toes. He thought about whistling, but didn't. Steve stood with his arms in front of him, his left hand grabbing his right wrist. He stared at the ground. Neither was sure how long this awkward silence lasted, but it seemed to drag on for hours.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

"I wasn't totally honest with you before, either. About the condition. Um... I am supposed to tell you how I really feel about you or Loki will kill you."

Tony blinked. "You hate me. I already know that. I was trying to get you to like me by making you the thing but I guess it didn't work." Tony took Steve's silence for conformation. "If you hate me... why did you kiss me?"

"Because I don't hate you."

"I'm very confused."

"So am I."

"I'm not supposed to get confused. I'm smart."

"Smart people can be confused."

"But you don't hate me?" Tony brought the conversation back to where to was supposed to be.

"No! Why would you think I hate you?" Steve asked, even though he knew exactly why Tony would think he hated him. It was because he worked very hard to make Tony hate him. He ignored him, and on the occasion of forced interaction, he was curt. He pretended not to see Tony's gestures of kindness. If Tony were to enter a room, Steve would leave as soon as possible.

But instead of saying any of those things, Tony shrugged. "I don't know." There was another silence. "So if you don't hate me, and you're supposed to tell me how you really feel about me..." Tony trailed off. His eyes glazed over, as if he was in another place entirely. He quickly came to a conclusion. "You love me?" Steve nodded. "Well then why didn't you tell me! We could have avoided, like, two and a half pages of dialogue!"

"What?" Steve asked.

"I like to think of my life as a movie script that is constantly being written as I go along." Tony shrugged. "Self obsessed and whatnot."

Steve shook his head, but he smiled. "Whatever you say." Tony leaned in to kiss him, but Steve pulled back. "Wait!"

"What?" Tony asked, afraid he had overstepped.

"I just... I didn't actually say it. I want to make sure I cover the basis, you know." Steve paused. "So... um... Tony?"

"Yeah?" Tony asked, a bit confused.

"I love you."

Tony didn't respond. He just kissed Steve.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**The reason I haven't been posting the past few days is because I was trying to write this. And it came out like crap and I really don't like it, but I feel that, since I put so much time into it, I might as well publish it. So here we have it. I had such great expectations in my mind. Whatever.**

**REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE (unless you're gonna tell me that it's shit, because I know that it is).**


End file.
